Monday, August 24, 2009

It Feels Weird

School is starting up again, I'm told, but not for me. This will be the first year since I was 5 that the end of August does not mean the beginning of another school year. The ebb and flow of school- break- school- summer has been broken for me; more so than taking a summer class or two ever did to break it. And I don't really know how to feel about that.

Currently, I feel adrift in the world. I don't have a career, I don't have any plans for one in the making, and now I don't even have the rituals I've had for my entire life to cling too. In a lot of ways, it feels like losing religion- what am I supposed to do on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights now? Except, I hated church, and for most of the time, I really loved school.

It makes me a bit curious: if you follow the average college-track, you are in school for 16 years of your life. I wonder if most people, upon receiving their degree, feel odd about joining "the real world". Do they feel jarred when August rolls around, and they're just doing their job instead of gearing up to go to classes? Do they miss searching for books online to get that really great deal? The ritual of looking where your classes are going to be? I wonder.


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